Did you ever have the experience of hearing a few casual words and having them hit you so profoundly it shifts your way of seeing the world?
I saw a dear friend yesterday (one that I do not see nearly enough) and a quick, four word sentence from her has completely changed my life. That is quite a bold statement but I dare say it is true. We were discussing the future, what we may have in store now that the kids are in school more.
“I really want to make this writing thing work.” I said.
“It already is working,” was her reply.
Those four words stopped me in my tracks. It already is working. Yeah, it is. It is working. I think I have a genetic defect that only allows me to see what I have yet to accomplish and block out all that I have already created. Those four words made me realize I have had the wrong perspective when it comes to myself, my goals, my job well done. Somewhere in the back of my belief system, I held a strong one that my creations somehow miss the mark. How unbelievably erroneous. The thing is, we all hold these beliefs within ourselves. Who doesn’t feel unworthy, incapable, unsuitable, unqualified, the list goes on. The sad thing is, these feelings couldn’t be farther from the truth. I come in contact with dozens of amazing women all day long. I see them at dropoff at my son’s preschool. I see them at the grocery store. I see them at my Women’s League meetings. I see the amazing light that shines in each one of them, yet I find it so hard to acknowledge the light in myself. After my awakening from my friend’s words, I vow to change that. We think it is a bad thing to love ourselves or appreciate our own contribution to our families and the world. If we didn’t think it was bad, we wouldn’t hate our waistlines, or hairlines, or panty lines. We would celebrate it all.
Sewa Singh Khalsa, a Kundalini Yoga Master Teacher was once quoted as saying “If a man sees you and doesn’t immediately want to serve you and devote his life to you then he’s not worth your time!” Let’s think about that for one minute. Do any of us walk around for any hour of the day, let alone EVERY hour of the day feeling this way about ourselves? I have to say, it sounds pretty good. It is now added to my list of goals.
This started as a blog post about my book but it is way more than that. In fact, it just may be the topic of my next book, StaceyLu’s Guide to Loving Ourselves. People with think they can find it in the sex manual section. That idea probably needs some work but there is definitely more to come on this topic. I give you food for thought. How hard are you on you? And maybe, think just for a minute, that those thoughts you tell yourself are wrong. Maybe they come from your mother, who was wrong. Or they come from your ex-boyfriend, who was wrong. Or they come from your fifth grade social studies teacher who was so wrong he was later fired for inappropriate conduct. The point is, once we hear these opinions about ourselves from people who are so screwed up themselves, they wedge in our belief system causing all sorts of crap and at the very worst, self-doubt. That is the biggest killer of dreams right there.
So I salute you, wonderful woman and Ed, (the only man I know who reads my posts!) reading this right now and I say go out and be the radiant light that you are and join me in kicking self-doubt in the ass and say “Yeah, It’s working!”