50 Shades of Twilight

“You’re not reading this AGAIN? Are you? Are YOU??” He asked me accusingly.

“No!” I shouted back too quickly. Everyone knew I was lying. I started to laugh and blushed beyond belief.

“So then WHY is there a bookmark in it? Why? Why?” He was firing accusations at me so fast, all I could do was stutter and laugh.

My seventeen-year-old stepson was not amused, swiftly taking action against the book in question. This photo captures the result of his desire to, I quote, “help young girls and confused stepmothers everywhere.” The book is hanging itself with the dog’s collar and leash.

In July I started writing my first fiction novel and it was going great. I was amazed at how my story was developing, I had great dialogue, I was excited about my future writing career. Not ever being much of a fiction reader, I thought I should read a few popular books, knowing I could use some inspiration on character development and especially descriptive writing, definitely my weakest skill.

I was always proud of the fact that I never read the Twilight series. I was going against the grain. Even when the mass hysteria hit, I was oblivious. I always had my nose in non-fiction, thinking if I weren’t learning something from a book, it was a waste of my time. Then at least a year ago, my dear sister-in-law gave me all four Twilights believing that I didn’t know what I was missing. I took them, still not that interested. They sat, and sat, and survived a house move and were banished to the back of my new closet for months. So, when my new desire to glean all I could from others hit, I chose the first fiction book accessible to me, no farther than the back of my closet. I remembered hearing the phrase “sucks you in” many times when this book was popular. Now I understand.

Because I didn’t read each book when it came out, I had all 2500 pages available to read at once. I started the first book two days before we were leaving for a week’s vacation. I finished it five minutes into the five-hour car ride to the Cape. I would have ripped into the second book immediately after, but didn’t want to alienate my loving husband at the wheel for the entire trip. The second book sat in the bag at my feet, practically burning a hole through it. I didn’t think to bring the third book on our trip. Was I really going to read the entire second book on my vacation? Oh, yes, and the entire third and half of the fourth. It was gross. I wasn’t going to let a little thing like not having the actual book with me stop me from reading so books three and four were conveniently purchased on Kindle for my iPad. Yay for modern times!

So, exactly twelve days after starting page one of book one, all 2500 pages were devoured. I immediately started reading the first book again! I was so gluttonous. Where was my life headed? When was the last time I showered? I had traded many a restful night’s sleep for the intoxicating glow of my iPad. I’ve always had an obsessive personality when I latch on to something I like. This was no exception. My writing went out the window. I haven’t written a word since starting these books. For one, I was completely and utterly intimidated. I finally see all I didn’t know I didn’t know. Inadequate doesn’t even begin to cover it. But, I can’t keep reading this series over and over, no matter how much I will miss Edward. It must end sometime. I have other stories to read. And I am now ready to return to the story I want to tell.

I have caved on the Hunger Games. I am only a season or two behind the times on that one. I have downloaded Gone Girl as well (thank you J!). So now I stand obstinate regarding 50 Shades of Grey.  I guess you can expect a blog post from me about it sometime Christmas 2013.

Happy Reading everyone!

3 Responses to 50 Shades of Twilight
  1. Ed
    September 4, 2012 | 5:30 pm

    U b funny 🙂

  2. pregnancy miracles
    September 23, 2012 | 10:01 pm

    Hey! I could have sworn I’ve been to this site before but after checking through some of the post I realized it’s new to me.

    Nonetheless, I’m definitely happy I found it and I’ll be book-marking
    and checking back often!

    • staceylu
      October 4, 2012 | 5:21 pm

      Thank you so much for finding me! I am usually a once a month poster. I will check out your blog as well. Thanks again!

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