The current is so swift, whizzing by and with each wasted second, another opportunity is missed. My turn is never coming.
“You cant make your dreams come true by waiting your turn!” She shouts over the teaming current.
“But I have no idea what I’m doing!” I plead.
“Neither does anyone else!” She shouts again. “Just jump!”
“I cant,” I say, defeated.
After forever waiting, She loses interest and moves on, leaving me standing on the bank. The current quiets. The passion of the moment has passed. I feel even worse that I was victim to the fear and let it win. It made me miss being a part of the great unknown of life. “If I had just jumped in…” I whisper.
“No!” a stern voice says. “You are safer here, on the side. I will take care of you and give you what you need. The current is dangerous and risky. No good can come of it.” It sounds reasonable but something in my heart says it’s not true. There are no risks. It’s all a façade to keep us small. If we live our bigness, fear loses. And fear hates to lose.
What’s the secret? Feel the fear and do it anyway.
So I return to the bank and stare at the calm water. From the side, She tiptoes back to watch me, shielded by a large tree. With a twirl of Her finger, the current starts up again, this time raging more than before. I feel my heart constrict. The fear will strangle me, I’m sure of it. But I can’t bear the thought of missing another opportunity. I look around. No one is watching. I hold my nose and jump in. The Goddess smiles.
I am spinning in circles, spiraling out of control. The water overtakes me and I am completely submersed. I am drowning. I am drowning. I am drowning. I inhale the water. I sputter and choke. I give one last struggle, and then stop. I breathe no more. My body rises and floats upside down on the top of the calmed water.
My eyes open and I see the river floor below me. I simultaneously see the world below me as I float.
I bump up against the rocks. My feet touch ground and I sit upright.
“But you died?” The reader says.
“I did,” I say. “But I woke from the dream of death, just as easily as waking from the dream of life. They are the same, you know.”
The Goddess smiles as She continues to watch. She knows this warrior girl has passed the test. She jumped in. Now we just have to get her to do it again. This time when the world is watching.