The Big 4-Oh Shit!

So 1973 was forty years ago. That must mean I am forty years old. Hmmmm. I don’t feel forty. But then again, I don’t know what forty is supposed to feel like. I remembered that turning thirty didn’t go so well (memories of laying in the fetal position somewhere in Rhode Island and no booze to thank for it) so I wanted to plan ahead for this one. In January I thought I would make this a year of great things. And boy has it been. It has been filled with experiences both pleasing and out of my comfort zone. And occasionally those two descriptions overlapped.

I hit the ground running the end of January and had “fancy” photos taken. I pretended it was for my husband for Valentine’s Day but really, who was I kidding. The right light at the right angle with the right photographer and the right makeup artist and you too can be a star. The good news about the digital age is that when I am eighty I can still look at those photos and think, Damn I was hot!


Then came February and the Austrian Ball (thank you again Amy!) for which I draped my body in head-to-toe sequins. It was an over-the-top, fancy night. Every woman should be über-fancy once a year. It reminds you how fun life can be.

The fun faded in March with a trip to the surgeon to remove my gallbladder. I have had a heck of a time retraining my liver how to metabolize alcohol. But, where there is a will…

April, I tanned my healing body in the glorious sun of Captiva. Some day, we will have a house there…

May, I made an attempt to beat my fear of heights and went indoor rock climbing. It was great fun and I had my share of heart pounding moments. I started to get cocky thinking I could walk across the high wire 100 feet in the air. I took one serious look at it and remembered that I am good enough, smart enough…without any of that nonsense.

June, I tanned my body again, this time in Turks and Caicos. It was a great trip with a great family!

July I had a great girls weekend with my bestie. I gave my gallbladderless body too many champagne 95’s at Nobu then treated my body and soul to Kinky Boots (thank you again Nora for that recommendation!) Every woman should see Kinky Boots. It makes you love being female! kinky-boots-poster-2

August, I got my actual, asked for, birthday present – our kitchen remodeled. I love it everyday I look at it. My husband doesn’t appreciate the fact that the toaster oven remains in the bar down the hall but hey, beauty has a price!

September, we bought a dreamy condo in the Adirondacks. I never thought I would love birch branches indoors lining our entry hall but they are great fun. There is great peace among the mountains and the lake…

In May I booked a trip to Disney to take place in October, of course, with no clue we would be going through a house closing the exact same week. Our Adirondack dream didn’t exist in May! I was obliviously drinking champagne and eating kimchi dogs at the Food and Wine festival with my father as my dear husband spent the week on the phone with lawyers and mortgage lenders.


I was incredibly cranky the week of my birthday in November. I thought maybe cranky was the new forty. But it only lasted a few days. Everyone asked how I was celebrating and I had to say I was tired of celebrating. I wanted a quiet night with my boys.

In 2006 God saw an opportunity…I renewed my drivers license with a seven year expiration date. So wouldn’t you know, it expired again on my fortieth birthday. That has to be symbolic of something! I never primped so much for a license pic wanting to disguise the age difference between the two gals staring back. I have to say, I like the new one better. I look softer.


December is my last month of a year of forty. No purchases, no trips. But other things are happening. I definitely feel a shift in myself. I was told it would happen. From those that came before me, I was told this is the decade I find out who I really am (thank you Jackie) and told this is the decade I stop giving a shit what people think (also wise words Lisa). I am learning what it means to be my own hero (more wisdom from Katy Perry) so my novel is back on the front burner and it feels good and right to be creating again.

I tried my hand at a design blog with my kitchen remodel and I was bored to tears. Writing about decorating isn’t for me. I need to get fired up about something to be good and I can’t get fired up about decorating. So Saying It Out Loud is being reinstated ASAP. I love the new me already. Or I guess I should say the old me…


Happy Holidays Everyone!


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