No Sleep till…Enlightenment

When I started writing this post about a month ago, I could control the thoughts running rampant in my head as well as I can control my three year old son. Enough said.

My thoughts a month ago…

When my mother died at the end of 2004 it started me on a road of spiritual discovery. For the past 5+ years I have read hundreds of books and pieces of literature on self-help, chakras, kundalini energy, the law of attraction, the flow, the science of mind, thinking rich, spiritual laws of success, power of intention, power of now, power in me, power in you, blah, blah, blah. I have found nuggets of transformative data in every one. They were all worth reading. I have practiced and practiced how to think positive, attract wealth, be successful, be more joyful, live in the present moment, live with intention, again, blah, blah, blah.

I have practiced meditation on and off for these 5 years. In the beginning I found a great enjoyment and great help in meditation. Then, I got back to being busy with my life and meditation fell off of the table. I realize that it is a vital part of spiritual transformation, everyone from Deepak Chopra to God himself says so. I have tried (not hard enough) in recent months to get back to the practice. It is difficult. The actual process of quieting my mind seems utterly impossible, although I know it is quite possible having experienced the state before. I used to meditate for one hour. Now, I cant even do it for 15 minutes. I think 15 minutes is up (my goal time), I am sure it is up. It has to be up…it isn’t up. It has only been 8 minutes. 8 minutes, you have got to be kidding me. Today, I got to 12. I was actually happy with 12. better than 8. I am not saying that these 8 or 12 minutes are devoid of thought, on the contrary. My mind is racing with every thought from trying to sell our house, buying a new house, which house will it be, where will we put the yellow sofa, did I pack my sons 2nd juice box in his lunch today, what do I have to do for the Women’s League today, when is the next board meeting, not to mention all of the theme songs from the cartoons my son watched in bed this morning. All this in 8 minutes. I am sure most mothers can relate.

At night, I could be in bed some nights 2-3 hours, mind racing before I fall asleep. Forget it if I got up to pee in the middle of the night. It wasn’t uncommon for me to be up at 2, back to sleep at 5:30.

My thoughts today…

Then I came to a big realization. I have the control. It is a decision. I can choose to let these thoughts have their way with my mind or I can squash them like a bug and go to sleep. It takes a bit of practice but not really as much as I thought. Within two nights, I nailed it. I no longer use the meditation tapes piped in through my ipod that I thought I needed to get to sleep. I fall asleep peacefully and if I get up to pee, I fall right back to sleep. This is heaven on earth.

Knowing I have complete control over my thoughts is probably the secret to life or something. You heard it here first my friends.

5 Responses to No Sleep till…Enlightenment
  1. Lina Ru
    July 5, 2010 | 9:49 pm

    I agree with you. By being able to control your thoughts, you can change the way you feel about everything! It takes time, effort, and love: Not being afraid of letting go of what you “constantly” think.

    So awesome that you wrote about your experience! Thank you for sharing!

    • staceylu
      July 9, 2010 | 11:37 am

      Hi Lina, thank you for your comment to this post. i love your website and posts. I will stay in touch

  2. Diana
    October 18, 2010 | 8:17 pm

    Hey, Stacey, you found me! I recently discovered kundalini yoga and am thrilled with how it shook the collected ickies out of me and how I’ve found my glow again. But the monkey mind during meditation is astonishing! I KNOW it wasn’t this hard when I was a dedicated yogi 10 years ago, it MUST be motherhood! Thank you for the control idea. At quarter past midnight I’m still nattering on the net instead of nabbing some Z’s. Hubby’s away for the week, my convenient excuse for not being able to settle. Time to log off and take control of this buzzing brain. Sweet dreams!

    • staceylu
      October 20, 2010 | 11:12 am

      Diana! So great to hear from you. are you taking the k yoga in a class in CT? I would love to know where. i am taking a class in Georgetown but it isnt k yoga. I would love to try it. I hope you are doing great in that lovely place of yours. xo, stacey

  3. Diana
    October 20, 2010 | 7:33 pm

    The Georgetown place looks like fun, shame it’s off my track. Yes, my class is local! Jackie Tepper teaches it at Kindred Spirits on rte 7 in Wilton, just north of DMV, M and W 9:30-11am. She also has a class at Noelle in Stamford on Thursdays, and my childhood friend Mary Green who got me into it all teaches at the Stamford Museum on Monday nights at 6:30. Join the action, it’s outrageous!

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